*Warning: this post isn’t the normal light and airy content*
Back in May of 2014 I went through a breakup and found myself with a sudden influx of empty time. I came across Kayla Itsines and her training program. I downloaded her original pdf guide and started following the workouts. Not because I wanted to lose weight or anything, I was just fine with my body, but more because the workouts were an enjoyable way to occupy some of my new found free time.
I’ll be honest I never actually did a full week of the program. Over the last few years I’ve missed more of the workouts than I’ve completed. Nonetheless, I’ve been an on-off BBG girl for years. I saw that Kayla was coming close (Houston) for her sweat tour and just brushed it off knowing full well there was no way I would be able to keep up since I haven’t done much more than yoga since March. Well my cousin Sarah went to Houston this past weekend and I was heartbroken seeing how much fun she was having working out with Kayla while I was at home frustrated with my body.
Hungry Heart by Sarah was started to inspire people to get up and be their best version. I hope I do for others what Sarah did for me in the last few days. She has made me get up and go. I’ve actually started over at week 1, followed Kayla’s guide so far all week for the first time ever, and I’m already feeling less frustrated with my body. Most importantly the past few days have made me come to terms with the last 6 months and where I am right now in life, and finally share it.
Why am I frustrated with my body? Why haven’t I done much more than yoga since March? Because I had a miscarriage and complications as a result. Complications that brought me to the Emergency Room, LabCorp, doctors' offices, somewhere for something every single week. My body failed to be a good incubator. My body has failed to get back to normal. My emotions have gone from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows over the last 6 months. The worst part is that it isn’t some broken arm and a cast that people can see, it’s internal and an unspoken invisible injury.
I’m going to be alright, I’m going to SWEAT out every toxin/negative thought/doubt/question/insecurity and start fresh. I’m going to get my body back and be able to fit in all my clothes again. I’ve even decided that when I make it through 4 weeks of Kayla’s program I’m going to reward myself and finally buy the Taylor Swift concert tickets I didn’t get originally because it fell on what would have been my due date. Then I couldn’t bear to buy the tickets knowing it would have been my due date. Taylor has been with me for years since before she was famous and was just the opening act for Tim McGraw and Faith Hill, she is going to be with me as the finish line for getting though this chapter.
Time to SWEAT, shake it off, and look forward to the next chapter.
SWEAT day 1
Thank you Sarah for inspiring me to get going again, I’ll be ready to go with you for next summer’s SWEAT tour! Thank you Kayla for the road map to get my body back! Thank you Taylor for always saying what I needed to hear, I can’t wait to celebrate with you and make some happy memories for that day on the calendar!
XOXO
Amanda